Misadventures In Miscellany

A Blog About the Beautiful, the Eclectic & the Just Plain Weird.

Budgeting Special: Read Your January Bank Statement – Without the Tears!

 

So here we are! Yes another year, one whole year after 2014, only ten to go until 2025. Crazy times.

Traditionally, one uses the month of January to write about defining new goals, losing some weight or even a fresh start or three. But there is something a tad more pressing some of us need to address come January. My credit card statement has just arrived through the letterbox. Ahhh, the post Christmas spend. This is a terrifying moment. It’s too scary to look at it. Yet one needs to look at it in order to evaluate the degee of damage. Surely, surely there must be a way in which one can look at it without having to erm, actually look at. Hang on…what if I was to use a combination of my scientific expertise and procrastination from the inevitable to propose a viable solution to this conundrum?!…

Claire’s Top Tips for Reading Your Bank Statement in Janaury

1. From a Great Height

Simply place your bank statement on the floor and find something high up to stand on, a chair perhaps or even a stepladder. Success! You’ve read your statement but it’s VERY VERY small to the naked eye!

That should just about do it!

2. Do. Not. Look. Directly. At. It.

Use some pins to fix your statement to a wall or noticeboard and with the help of a handheld mirror, angle the mirror to read those transactional statements with minimal repercussions!

Yep. There it is.

3. Give it to your Parents

Plan to ‘accidently’ leave it on the table when your parents next come to visit. If it all looks ‘above board’, you won’t here a peep about it, you may even get a ‘Congratulations on that 0% balance transfer!’. If you’re in financial dire straights however, there is a strong chance that you WILL get a head shake, possibly a lecture. Your Mum may even be ‘dissappointed in you’. Manage to shed a few tears however, and you may, just may get some sympathy and perhaps even a loan from the bank of Mum and Dad! WARNING: Do not leave the statement out if you’ve bought something ridiculously extravagent like a speedboat.

A Speedboat?!

4.  Run past it

Ask a friend to hold the statement upright take 5 paces in the opposite direction and then…run past it! You saw it, but it all happenned so fast!

What statement?!

 

Try my Top Tips and I guarantee you at least a few months of blissful ignorance about your financial situation!

Happy 2015 to all my followers, please like and share to spread the joy 🙂

Claire

x

Happy New Year!

 

 

 

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This entry was posted on January 1, 2015 by in 2015, England, Funny, Humour, Introduction, quirky, science, UK, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .

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